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Celtic Fan Q&A #1

Welcome......Spunkphone.

Scottish Premier League Decision Photo by Jane Barlow/PA Images via Getty Images

So, Celtic clinched nine in a row on Monday via a Zoom call between all the TOP BEAKS in the SPFL who unanimously agreed the Hoops deserved the trophy after two months of arguing and infighting that was so boring even the most hardened Emmerdale fan would be mortified for how cringeworthy it developed as the weeks dragged on.

I could pen my thoughts on here, but I wanted to ask YOU, the fans, your feelings on the season and open up the floor unselfishly and give you a platform on NEWSNOW where this blog hits record highs for views! Twitter is not everything, sorry to break that to you.

Anyway, first on the Q&A feature is Deborah Harry superfan and Newcastle Brown Ale aficionado, “Spunkphone”.

1. Welcome uh, Spunkphone to the second ever TJDS Q&A. The first was JVOH. How does it feel to be a bigger legend than Jan among the Celtic fans ?

With the exception of MY bald captain, I think you’ll find I’m the biggest Celtic legend since Larsson.

2. So let’s get to it. We won NINE officially, over Zoom, but the season was not played over Zoom. Has that dampened anything for you personally ?

Having reached the stage that I merely masquerade as a Celtic supporter for social media clout, the answer to that question is NO. The meltdown coming out of Ibrox over the past month or so has been simply delicious and has made for some GREAT Twitter content!

3. Who was your STAND OUT player of the season. Your Debbie Harry standard performer if you will ?

Odsonne Édouard without a doubt. I don’t use the word hero often but HE may just be the greatest hero in Celtic history.

4. Did you have a favourite game/moment of the season ?

Easily the Betfred Cup final win in December. It was an emotionally charged game following the sad passing of ‘Juice WRLD’ and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more undeserved win in all my years of watching football. The celebrations later that night in St Vincents will live with me forever, it is fully deserving of its title as Glasgow’s ‘Free Love Capital’!

5. It’s not all barbecues and ballgames, did anyone disappoint you this campaign in the Celtic team ? Who in the squad would you ask to SAVE A BOTTLE OF BROWN UP THERE, for you ?

Boli Bolingoli and Greg Taylor, I hope you like Brown Ale lads. A pair of total idiots. GET THEM OUT, NEIL. IT’S ME OR THEM!

6. What did Neil Lennon do better, or worse, in his second term with Celtic in your opinion ?

Having been outspoken in my disdain for the decision to re-appoint ‘The Lurgan Bigot’, I’m happy to say that have very much ate my words this season. We’ve clearly seen a far more mature Lennon, far less prone to his classic, and rather hilarious, outbursts of unadulterated rage on the touchline. The summer recruitment was good for the most part aside from the afore mentioned donkey’s at left-back. Needs huge credit for the shift to a back 3 after the Winter break, I’ve criticised a number of his tactical choices in the past but that was an inspired decision!

All in all, aside from a few notable hiccups, namely against Rangers and Copenhagen, I feel we’re in a fairly good place to continue winning BIG under Lenny next season!

7. For next season, do you feel Celtic need to SPLASH THE CASH to secure 10 ? Or is our squad adequate enough ?

I reckon the squad as it is would be more than capable of winning another league title next season, that is if we manage to get Fraser Forster back permanently.

The main issue this summer window will present (if there is to be one given the crazy, post-apocalyptic nightmare we find ourselves in) will be holding on to Édouard.

Rumours persist of Kris Ajer being close to the exit door also, so we’ll no doubt be entering another transfer window in need of a centre-half!

8. Let’s laugh at Rangers for a minute as well. Give us your favourite patter moment from the YCV.

My patter moment of the season was undoubtedly when Twitter heavyweight @Chr1sMclaughlin wrote ‘Think its unfair to say nobodies heard of them. Andy Murray has heavily promoted them. I have couple of their pieces, great quality.’ following the announcement of Castore as Rangers’ new kit suppliers.

9. And finally, Mr Phone, what is YOUR message to the Celtic fans ?

Well TJDS Blog, I’m glad that you’ve asked me that.

I’ll never forget Tommy Burns said to me ‘When you become a Celtic Twitter celebrity Spunkphone, you’re a leader of the men and a leader of the people’ and I’m very proud to be here for you guys so THANK YOU very much!

No Spunkphone, THANK YOU! You can see him bam up Chris McLaughlin regularly on Twitter here

He will be paid for this article too. Do you want your next chippy to be funded by me ? I’ll see how I feel. Ask and you might be as lucky as Phone Bhoy.