Celtic V AIK - The lowdown.

It’s been over a week since the Cluj debacle, and most people will tell you that there’s a crisis at Celtic.

That word will be erased from many peoples minds if we go onto smash tomorrow’s opponents, and then Hearts at the weekend, and all will be fine again in the world of a Scottish fitbaw fan.

So, let’s preview the potential crisis busting game ahead without patronising you!

‘Listen, I’m no going to that game. Fuck giving them any money. Is it on that telly?’

Indeed it is not. It’s only on Celtic TV, where you’ll maybe hear Thomas Boyd saying something about a ref and UEFA potentially fining us for it. Here’s hoping!

‘Are this mob decent? Will we beat them 10-0 ? You say it all the time with these teams.

You’re right, I do, but this will be a tough game. The brainwashing is wearing off, and I can see Celtic for the competent, but limited side they are. This is our level, unfortunately.

AIK are decent, but beatable, and having been booed off the park at the weekend following their 2-1 defeat to lowly Kalmar, we should fancy our chances. Although, they’ll have watched us struggle to victory against Dunfermline, so we can’t go into this thinking they are, as I say often, idiots.

‘So, do they have anyone that can do the damage against us?’

Their big dog is Tarik Elyounoussi, but he is suspended for the first leg, so hopefully we can win by a few to demoralise him for the return game in Sweden. They have that Sigporsson guy who was at Ajax and brilliant in Fitba Manager but has done nothing in the last five years. Sebastian Larsson will be a name many of us will be familiar with, and we’d be wise not to give away any stupid fouls around the area, as he’s best known for his set piece ability, but other than those players, I can’t say I’m too clued up with the rest of them. And neither are you, drop the act, to quote a certain fan from Melbourne.

I love to gamble, it’s a good laugh and losing money is a buzz. What are the odds?

Well, if you’re one of those compulsive types who just has to gamble; Celtic are the heavy favourites to finish the match as winners, and can be backed at around 1/2 at most bookmakers. If you fancy AIK to pull off an upset, though, most bookies are offering odds of around 6/1 for a win for the visitors. Worth a punt eh ? Take the weans savings and lump a few quid on it, shitebag if you don’t.

How will we line up ?

No idea, honestly couldn’t begin to imagine what goes through Neil Lennon’s mind before a game now. I would not throw Bain back in for this one, not after his shocker against Cluj. Craig Gordon will be just fine. Scott Brown will surely waltz back in, and James Forrest justifiably will start. One thing is for certain, Callum McGregor will not be punted at left back ever again for a game like this.

And what will the score be ? Another 4-0 shoot prediction from you?

Shut it. I think Celtic will win 2-1.