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Celtic SWOOP for Arsenal STARLET

Did youse like the tabloid patter there lads

Today’s news ahead of the weekend :

Celtic have signed the superbly named Armstrong Okoflex.

With a name like this, you would expect his CV to have FOXHOUND on it(one for the Metal Gear Solid boys there) but no - he is a footballer it would seem!

I have never heard of him, and I won’t even bother doing the ‘youtube compilations’ that the bores all seem to love, if there even is any. We’ve been stung before by these ‘expert scouts’ sitting on a couch from coatbridge clipping a few minutes worth of footage together and going ‘Listen he’s going to be the next big thing trust me’ before it turns out that, in a few years, this said player is languishing in the nether regions of Finnish or Mexican fitba.

In any case, welcome to Celtic, Army Bhoy!