Alashkert - Five Things You Don’t Need To Know

Celtic have been drawn to face FC Alashkert in the first Champions League qualifier, which will take place in Yerevan on the 10th or 11th of July.

Now, I don’t know who this team are, and chances you neither do you, but in true Scottish Fitba writer fashion I’ve put together a crucial ‘five things you MUST know’ about this mob we’ll smash 10-0 on aggregate.

1) St Johnstone flopped against them in 2015.

Tommy Wright’s anti-footballing balloons humiliated themselves against Alashkert, but then they have made a fool of themselves against most of the teams in the Scottish Premiership, including a Rangers team managed by Pedro Caixinha when Carlos Pena scored twice, so this isn’t a huge achievement by the Armenians.

2) Celtic will get there fine, so no one needs to live-track their flight.

We have a habit of loading up Flight Radar when Celtic have a long haul trip against an opponent out in the east, but this isn’t Wacky Races lads, there is no need to bore ourselves with tracking the team’s flight to Yerevan, when several planes go there without a problem from London on a daily basis.

3) Will it be roasting over there ?

Having checked Yerevan’s climate, it’ll be at least over 30 degrees, so yes would be the answer. Will that affect our players ? In my opinion............No. It’s modern day basics now for footballers, even in Scotland, to be acclimatized and sorted before a ball is kicked, so the quality of our team will see us right for the second leg.

4) Can you afford to go ?

If you honestly think a limited time in Yervan over two or three days are worth it for £424, or more, then on you go, but you’re clearly mental.

5) Has this article enlightened you?

No, because you’ll have forgot about this team as soon as the second leg is over. Grow up.